Day 2 – The Key To My Door

Posted in healing, law of attraction, Religion & Beliefs, Soul Medicine, Spirit, writing on December 6, 2012 – 5:00 pm
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31 Days of Soul Medicine at soulspackle.com

Day 2 of the 31 Days of Soul Medicine asks the following:

What curiosity cannot be sated? What question wakes you from your sleep? What question could you devote a whole life to seeking an answer for, knowing as you do that there is no true end to the search? What magical incantation or question causes your inner door to swing open?

This has been a hard one for me. I started thinking about these questions and all I’ve been able to do thus far is become frustrated. What curiosity cannot be sated? How can these things, these questions be a key to my inner door?? I don’t understand!

I read this prompt two days ago and I have not been able to get passed it until now. Or at least I think I can get passed it now.
The one thing that has kept me up at night, the one thing that keeps me searching and searching… the one question that I can’t seem to answer is “What makes me special” or “What is my soul purpose”.

I’ve always felt special… special to God, special to the world. I’ve always felt like I’ve had a purpose, but I could never figure out what it is. I’ve been told that I am not special by many people, so there is a huge part of me that wonders if that “special” feeling is just a stupid fantasy. That there’s nothing special about me, that I don’t have a purpose at all… that I’m just here floating in this physical realm, like some cosmic peice of dust, sparkling in the sunshine and pretending to be a fairy, when all I really am is just another peice of dust… nothing special, nothing remarkable.. Really just dirt.

This type of thinking makes me sad though. I hate feeling sad. So I try not to dwell on that too much. I like feeling good, and what makes me feel good is thinking that I am special in some way, that I have a purpose on this earth. I just get so frustrated in trying to figure out what it is though!
That’s when I realized that my key, the key to the door to my soul is that feeling… that searching for my soul purpose! It’s something that I think about a lot, something I dream about. I know that there may not be a definitive answer… an answer that has an ending. Maybe the purpose is the constant learning and searching for answers, instead of the answers themselves! The journey, not the destination… an old cliché, but a meaningful one for sure!

So how do I put that in a talisman? That is the question I have to figure out for now. What represents that journey and constant searching for a purpose and answer? The labyrinth!! Funny thing, I’ve always loved mazes…. even as a small child my favorite games to play as a child while waiting in the doctor’s office, whether it was for my visit or a family members, was doing mazes… mazes and word finds!

Maybe something like this should be my next tattoo? Maybe on my other breast to balance out the pentagram!

Athena, the beautiful, magickal and amzing Sage Goddess suggested that I start writing a book on the subject.  That idea is germinating in my brain now.  I keep thinking that I can’t write a book on a subject I know literally nothing about!  But then it hit me, what if instead of writing about something I know, what if I wrote about something I’m LEARNING about!  Write about my path as I am walking it, instead of trying to write about it afterwards, write about it during!  Kinda like a blog/journal, only with more explanation of the journey, where it’s leading and where it came from.  I think it might be interesting to read and follow along with someone else who is learning… why wouldn’t other people like to read and follow along with me?  Definitely something to ponder and think about!


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This entry was written by Kendra, filed under healing, law of attraction, Religion & Beliefs, Soul Medicine, Spirit, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .
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